Most Marriages Fail. The first three words the priest uttered during his sermon at my wedding ceremony (9 years ago this week!). The sermon included other words but I don’t remember them because I got so stuck on the first three. I was thinking: Why is the priest, the guy who is about to unite M and I for life, talking about divorce? I mean this is the day I’m supposed to feel that my relationship is invincible. Rainbows, unicorns and heart shaped cheesecakes are floating around in my head as I think about the happiness we’re going to cultivate all the days of our lives….
What are you really mad about?
What are you angry about today? What’s got you pissy? What’s really irritating your right now?
Did someone just cut you off in traffic? Did your boss give you a criticism you felt was unfair? Are you in the midst of a conflict with someone you love?
Anger is a fascinating emotion. It springs up quickly and often out of nowhere, blindsiding us with rage and frustration.
It’s a very telling emotion as well. Anger is the security blanket we often use to cover up our true hurts and fears—fear of loss, worry about the future, fear of a dissolving connection with someone.
So, let’s dig into anger today. Just a little. It’s not easy work because, as women, we are so often socialized to suppress our anger. We are taught that it’s dangerous and damaging to confront our rage.
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One Week Vacation or Everyday Indulgence?
The other day, I was chatting with some co-workers at lunch and we were catching up about our summer vacations. I was the only one in the group who didn’t like to go to all inclusive resorts or on cruises. To be honest, I question the practices at most resorts in terms of labour relations, environmental impact and food supply (I’ve written more about this here). I would rather support a smaller tourism company or even a family renting their home. And let’s get real, I may be a tourist myself but I don’t wanna hang around any other tourists. I want to blend in, meet locals and observe the culture as it unfolds before me. I want to go to markets, I want to watch families at coffee shops, I want to picnic and hike.
This was met with some shock:
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Let’s do a boundary check in shall we?
My day job as a Nurse Practitioner means that I spend my days supporting women in their physical and mental health. I bear witness to stories of great suffering and even greater resilience. It is work that I am passionate about. It is extremely rewarding and urgent work.
It is also extremely tiring. I am coming off of a year of learning how to be a mother which is also very tiring work. It’s easy as a helper, healer and mama to get lost. To completely pour yourself into your work and/or your family. I used to think that pouring of myself was selflessness. I thought it was virtuous.
You know what it really is? Unsustainable. …
3 Ways to Stop People Pleasing
As a recovering people pleaser, super-friend and do-it-all mama, I love helping other women disconnect from the everyday hustle and connect more deeply with themselves.
Are you constantly over-scheduling yourself and then feeling exhausted afterward?
Do your friends and family call you and expect you to drop your plans and listen/help them?
Do you often do things out of guilt only to later resent the person you did it for?
If so, I get it—navigating all of this has been such a huge part of my journey. In order to help you break free from exhaustion, guilt and resentment, I compiled a few mindset shifts that have helped me immensely:
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