Today is my last day in Costa Rica. I have zero desire for this trip to end. I have a mountain of change coming my way this month. I want to worry and fret and just generally dig my heels in. I want to refuse to move, to flow, to be at ease with the unknown. But I know that’s no way to live. Fretting about the future or wishing for this moment to carry on into perpetuity? All of that takes me out of the actual, beautiful, present moment.
So I’m doing a little bit of reframing, one of my favourite psychological tools. Reframing is how you put gratitude and appreciation into action. Reframing is how you dig yourself out of a funk and find some joy without being all “can’t you just smile about what you have?” While smiling helps, it is not going to transform your mood. While being grateful for what you do have is useful, it doesn’t just turn off the funky feelings.
To get through a funk, you’ve got to move THROUGH it. Allow yourself to feel more than one thing at a time. Feeling opposing feelings is normal. Happy, sad. Grateful, annoyed. Yin, yang. Sweet one, it’s all allowed, separately and all at once.
Reframing is acknowledging the shitty part of a situation but not letting that eclipse the good. So I’m scared of the changes coming up in my life, but here are the things I’m excited about too:
1️⃣ Home is where my dog is, and snuggling him is the best.
2️⃣ A dear friend is getting married the first week I’m back, and that is once in a lifetime special.
3️⃣ A dear friend is coming for a visit shortly after I return and all we do is laugh and chat and just generally fill eachother up. So good.
4️⃣ I feel supported. My family is great. My friends are awesome. My colleagues are kind and fun. Gab’s daycare providers are sensitive and caring. I have systems in place to help me through. It won’t be perfect, but it will be.
So when you’re in a funk. Give yourself permission to move through it. No feeling is disallowed. No emotion too big to bear. And nothing is all bad or all good. It just is. Yin and yang. Reframe a little: what is both difficult and amazing about your situation? Can you find any extra ease in knowing there are two sides to what’s going on?